That SI Fic
by Moosey Goodness
Summary: Your average SI fic, except twisted beyond comparison. R&R, please!


Better Left Alone Productions  
Brings you.  
That SI Fic  
  
The EVA crew stood in front of the Geofront, waiting for their plane to  
arrive. Misato elbowed Asuka in the ribs and said, "I hear the new kid's  
gunna be cute, huh?" She winked a few times.  
Asuka said, "I can't wait to meet the guy." What she really meant was, "I  
can't wait to beat him up!"  
Soon a black jet came into view. It was a black dot, and slow grew until  
it was recognizable. It slowly pulled in on the runway, and soon the door  
was opened.  
A courier stepped out. "May I present to you the 6th Child selected by  
Marduk University! All the way from America!"  
Everyone (except Rei of course) was trembling with excitement. Misato  
whispered to Asuka, "His ridiculously stupid American name is Maxwell  
MacDinkleSneifer. Hope you two become great 'friends'!" Misato started  
giggling maniacally. She obviously thought her joke was funny.  
Soon boy stepped out. He had brown hair with yellow highlights. His blue  
eyes were dark, reflecting his highly improbable angst and vengeance-filled  
past. He wore a polo shirt and baggy jeans. "Hi everyone," he said  
coolly.  
There was a collective and audible gasp. Immediately all the females  
(except for Rei of course) started crowding around MacDinkleSneifer.  
Shinji tried to talk to the new guy. "Hi, I'm Shinji. I hope we can be  
friends or something, like hang out?"  
Max walked past them all and went straight to Rei.  
"You must be Rei Ayanami. I've heard all about you. Let me guess. You're  
a clone of Lilith and Yui Ikari. You're a great EVA pilot, and beautiful  
too." She blushed and smiled at him. This guy was too good to be true.  
"Thank you, Maxwell."  
"You can just call me Max."  
Shinji felt alienated. He jumped up and ran towards Max. "Well, that's  
great too. You can steal one of my best friends, but we can all be  
friends, right?"  
Max ignored him again.  
Gendo spoke up. "Enough chitter-chatter. First item of business here is  
to check his harmonics levels." Soon after, our pal MacDinkleSneifer was  
suited up and ready for the tests.  
Gendo was standing in the hangar. "Here is your EVA, the Unit 200X Super  
Limited Silver Edition 27 and-a-half." It looked exactly like Unit 1, but  
was painted black, could fly, had an ultimate weapon that could blow up any  
angel in a second, and had l33t skillage!!  
Maya monitered the synch levels. "5%... 15 %... 20%..."  
The crew was startled. Misato said, "I've never had a kid score 20% on his  
first try."  
Shinji said, "I did, don't you remember Misato?"  
Nobody listened to him.  
"40%... 60%... 80%..." It just kept climbing higher and higher.  
Suddenly, the EVA went berserk and the pilot was reminded of his angsty,  
vengeance-filled past. He screamed and grabbed at his hair.  
Asuka looked worried. "Will he come out alive?"  
Rei tapped her fingers anxiously.  
Shinji said, "You all weren't this nervous the twenty times I was about to  
be killed! Hello?! Is anyone even listening?"  
Nobody listened to him.  
"100%... 150%... 200%... 400%!!! My god! 500%... 800%!!!" Maya screamed.  
But then, the synch ratio started lowering and dropped back down to 20%.  
As Max walked out of his entry plug, Rei ran over and hugged him. Gendo  
smiled and said, "Good work, son."  
Shinji ran over. "But I'M your son, dad!"  
Gendo didn't listen.  
Shinji said again, "But I thought you were MY friend, Rei!"  
Rei didn't listen.  
Shinji said again, "Great job, Max!"  
Max didn't listen either.  
Shinji just walked off, sulking.  
Gendo said, "Next order of business is getting you an apartment."  
Shinji said, "How about you move in with us? It could be like a huge  
sleepover! That would be soo awesome."  
Gendo said, "You can move in with Rei. No, we won't monitor your  
activities, even though you are a hormonally-deprived teenage brat. We  
trust you like that."  
Shinji said desperately, "How come you don't trust me, your own son?!"  
Gendo didn't answer.  
***LATER AT REI'S APARTMENT***  
"So. This is where you live?"  
"Yes."  
"It's kind of dirty. Let me clean it up for you." Max, with his l33t  
skillzz, used his super-powers to clean up Rei's apartment in a flash.  
". Thank you." She blushed and smiled.  
"You're welcome." They started leaning towards each other for a kiss.  
Max expected to feel her lips, warm and soft and delicate. Instead, he  
felt the taste of cold steel. He was knocked half-unconcious, vaguely  
aware of what was happening around him.  
Rei picked up her phone and started dialing. "Hello Shinji? This is  
Ayanami. Plan Delta is commencing. Bring Sohryu with you. Oh, and don't  
forget the AK-47's."  
  
Ooh, that's gotta hurt. 


End file.
